Lightning – The World’s Eroticest Artiste’s Modele

I work with some of the world’s most smokin’est broadalinas. But of all the goddesses that visit the studio then Lightning has to be one of the most felinuous. She’s a living statue of the dancefloor. The heating is on so hot here that helicopters are floating overhead in the updraft. Lightning is a fascinating woman and has many tales to tell of her life growing up on a remote tropical island near Antactica. After her family were eaten by polar bears she fashioned an ice yacht and travelled to Old Europe to become a Bohemian.

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Bloody Thumb

These drawings are from a dream. Towers of coloured sand with vague silhouettes of sentinels, fragments of wooden structures lie submerged in grass, a droplet of fresh dark blood oozes from a neat cut on my thumb. The blood is alive with patterns and images.


Bouncing Your Own Drum

I know you don’t want to hear compliments, because you are scared that hearing them might make you happy or give rise to other emotions. I know you are scared of feelings because you don’t want to open the floodgates. Who knows what’s at the bottom of the weir? But when someone compliments you, you mustn’t shut your ear like when you blink your eyes during a sneeze. When you blink your eyes, the brain ‘fills in’ the missing time – there’s no sensation of darkness. But when you ears close there’s no ‘fill in’ – there’s just darkness. Open your ears. Don’t ear-blink. And be open to compliments and the emotions that go with them.

I’m Not A JPEG

Here’s a song I’m working on with my new band. A work in progress.


I’m not an image on a screen…
I’m instead the human being

I’m not something you delete…
I’m instead the human being

You can’t scroll by me…
I’m instead the human being

You can’t like me, I’m not likeable!!
I’m instead the human being

I’m not a JPEG I’m a human being
I’m not a JPEG I’m a human being
I’m not a JPEG I’m a human being
I’m being being being being!

Can’t delete me!
I’m uniquely
really freaky
Others seek me
Freedom be me
You can see me
and I’m infinitely free!

Triplus Umbilicus


After the resounding success of my first unmade film ‘Self Servicing’ (which at least has a script), I am now working on another un-made film – Triplus Umbilicus. It’s a tale about one man and his obscene love for a rubber elephant suit – but it’s also a metaphor for our total dependency on the world around us and how we fantasise about being liberated from dependency but can never achieve it more than momentarily.

Stussy Japan California Psychedelica

It’s another Japan moment for me. Stuff I drew, on a shirt, in a shop, in the country of Japan. Crazy psychedelic oddness. Keyrings with glitter. Who knew? Including images from the Special Launch at the Stussy Pop-up shop in Harajaku. There will now follow an announcement in Japanese for which I take no responsibility for accuracy or anything else. Glitter, keyrings.

UKアーティスト Jody Barton (ジョディー・バートン) とStussy Women のコラボレーションアイテムが発売。9月21日(土)オープンのStussy Women Pop Up Shop in Harajuku ではJody Bartonとのコラボレーションアイテムが一足早くお買い求め頂けます。この機会に是非店頭までお越し下さい。

Stussy Japan blog
















Schoolyard Blues

Hey hey… So I was doing a nice drawing job for a Swiss magazine. The illustration was about school and it’s a real epic drawing with many many elements. I can’t show you that because it isn’t published yet, but here’s some roughs of other ideas for the same job.

Embryo Boy – Clay Bust

I’m making a little clay bust of Embryo Boy! It’s about 7cm tall. This is just the first stage before the first firing. If he doesn’t crack up when he dries out then he’ll be fired twice: once without a glaze and then with glaze colours on the second firing. I think I’ll make him a separate cigarette out of wood or something.

Tages-Anzeiger’s Das Magazin Cover – The DSM

I did these 3 new illustrations including the cover, for the Swiss Newspaper Tages-Anzeiger’s Das Magazine (click for article). They are for an article by Birgit Schmid about the book called The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – or DSM. The DSM is a fascinating sociological artefact that attempts to formalise and categorise mental illness. As you can perhaps imagine that can be both helpful and troubling. Art direction by Andreas Wellnitz Studio, Berlin. With thanks to Frauke Schnoor. The article is in German, but there is always Google Translate.

Skinsuit Madness

I was thinking that I might design and make a skinsuit, the most obscene of all cycling apparel. I’d need 10 preorders and the price would be around £70. I’d make no profit. But it would be a big buzz seeing someone fly in one of these. I haven’t really decided how it would look but it would be BONKERS in some way like these. Interested? email me.

I Can See The Finish Line

Thank Fuck. I should be able to crawl from here. So it is done, I have dragged my huge lycra clad barrel of flesh over hill and dale and to the finish line without incidence apart from nightmarish cramps and a total lack of speed. I saw a child competitor with no skin on his knee – and my buddy Ed coming the other way with a grimace like a gargoyle, in his bright green jersey. They are my only memories of the day. I resolve to wear brighter colours in future – I looked like a stage hand at a puppet theatre.

Amateur Sports Anticipation Euphoria

On Sunday I’m going to ride in a bicycle race. It’s a semi-classic, which means that some of the race will be on cobblestones, some gravel, some woodland path, and the rest on tarmac. It’s 72km long which is a mere trifle compared to the professional’s races like last weekend’s Paris Roubaix which is 240km+. Oh what joy. I’ve done this race the last two years as well, and both times I PROMISED myself I wouldn’t do it again. Mental illness right! Well, a combination of midlife and IMAGINED* peer pressure is pushing me to do it again. Months of semi-serious preparation, training, mechanical tinkering, anxiety, dark thoughts and hypochondria. And the whole time I could have been drawing, writing, making music or just taking a holiday. In sports I finally found a way of procrastinating which takes me from my place at the desk with a pen in my hand. One obsessive activity replaces another. At least art produces something tangible. Normal creative service resumes Monday.

* Flemming points out that he doesn’t give two hoots if I do it or not…